Fair?

As most expected, my nephew didn’t make it. He passed away Monday in Germany. At this point I don’t even know how to feel. How can I be happy when my brother and his wife are going through so much pain? I finally talked to my brother this morning and he did sound good. Better than expected, but I think at this point their emotions are just a rollercoaster. I just wish I could do more.
My Sister-in-Law is very adamant that I not be there for any of the memorial services and burial, as she is worried that it might affect our baby. While I don’t agree, I think it’s best to stay here. We went through this scenario a few years back when my grandmother had a stroke. To this day she is in a nursing home, without the ability to move. She lies in bed and is fed, which is not how anybody wants to see their grandma. Isn’t it strange that for some reason her life is being extended for so long, while my nephew’s life had barely begun?