4 weeks, baby

Just four more weeks and I’ll be on my way to good old Germany, which means that in less than five weeks my brother is finally getting married. Since his wife-to-be is going to take over her father’s business one day, they have decided that my brother will take on their family name. Normally I would think that this is way too cheesy but in our family’s case you want to get rid of the family name. My dad is the main proponent if that.
The problem is, that my dad got his last name from the guy my biological grandmother happen to be married to at the time of his birth, which was less than nine months after they got married. That guy figured it out and left her. So she thought it would be cool to take the next best idiot and run off with him to West Germany, leaving my dad in an orphanage until his grandparents took him in a few years later. Bitch.
I might have mentioned that before. Anywho, my lovely c**t-grandmother never thought it would be nice to tell my dad who his real father is, but she’s probably not even sure. Whore. There is really only one other offspring of hers that is normal and he has come to the conclusion that his mother is a bitch too. He’s actually my favorite uncle and I only know him for half of my life; since I grew up in the East and he was living in the West.
The good part about this whole thing is though that I was always able to call my dad a son of a bitch without any problems.
That’s my family!